Fatherhood, at What Cost?
Lessons from Blue Miracle
I’ve learned that being a father can often be daunting. When my oldest child first came home from the hospital, I was nervous about simply keeping her alive. What did I know about caring for a helpless little human? Honestly, not much. Sleepless nights ensued as well as multiple trips to the emergency room for allergic reactions and asthma. Sometimes she’d cause my heart to drop when she did things like run into the street. Sometimes she drove me crazy when she somehow became a nocturnal creature. Ahh, the easy days.
Loving her was simple back then. I fed her. I cleaned her. I made her laugh. I cradled her in my arms. I kissed her as many times I wanted to. I held her with the hopes that she would never leave my embrace.
Now, as a father of four ranging from 9 years old to 22 years old, fatherhood is more intimidating than ever. I find myself having difficult conversations with complex individuals. I don’t simply have Bible verses or rules that can help them navigate through the treacherous seas raging within their hearts. No, I have to navigate those unknown waters with them. And despite feeling as helpless as they do, more often than not, I need them to know that I will never jump ship.
I’ve been contemplating this quite a bit after seeing the Netflix original film, Blue Miracle about Casa Hogar, a Mexican boys home that is in danger of shutting its doors due financial troubles. If you watch the trailer, you’ll see that Dennis Quaid plays the role of Captain Wade Malloy. He reluctantly teams up with boys to try and win a fishing competition. The prize money would save the orphanage. This is the part where many of us roll our collective eyes and sigh at the return of the White Savior. You know that trope: a boys home of poor brown kids would have no hope in life if not for the benevolent White hero. Actually, this true story flips this trope on its heads.
Now, I must warn you before you go any further that I will be discussing several plot points of the movie. In other words, spoiler art! You’ve been warned.
*****Spoilers Below*****
Instead of focusing on Dennis Quaid’s character, I want to focus on Omar Venegas, affectionately known as “Papa Omar” played by Jimmy Gonzales. It is his character, as the caretaker of Casa Hogar, that had me thinking about my own fatherhood. Omar grows up as an orphan, and although he doesn’t have children of his own, becomes a father to the boys that he takes into his home. And like any father, life becomes very complex for him. After Hurricane Odile damages the orphanage, Omar struggles to make the repairs necessary as well as stay on top of the finances to keep the home afloat. Like life, there are often many oppositions to overcome - and as many temptations to provide quick fixes.
Casa Hogar is not Omar’s place of employment; it’s his home. Without children of his own, the boys are not his ministry. They are his family. Therefore, losing Casa Hogar is not about shutting down a ministry or losing a job. It’s about breaking up his family and sending his boys back into the streets to survive. This awakened paternal pondering within me. If something threatened to undo my family, what would I do to protect it? Would I die for my family? I would have a hard time living with myself knowing that I chose my life over theirs. But here’s the harder question embedded in this trial: would I sacrifice character and integrity to save my family?
On two separate occasions, Omar is presented with an easy out of his dilemma. After being paired with Captain Malloy in Bisbee’s Black & Blue Tournament, the orphanage caught the attention of one of Omar’s childhood friends. In the film, his friend, understanding the enormous odds against him, offers Omar the opportunity to sell drugs to make quick money. This is Omar’s first test.
Again, how far are we willing to go to provide and protect the ones we love? If the odds of winning are really truly slim and the bills are due, is this quick job worth it? Though Omar is familiar with this life from his past, he decides that his integrity and character are too important.
I need to take a step back. No Mexican team had ever won Bisbee’s Black & Blue Tournament before. The $5,000 entry fee served as a gatekeeper, maintaining the involvement of a wealthier demographic. On top of his inability to front the entry fee, Omar does not own a boat or have fishing experience - at least not enough to catch a marlin. His only hope is Captain Malloy, who boasts about being the only 2-time winner of Bisbee’s tournament.
As day three of the tournament approaches and the chances of winning shrivel, Omar is presented with another opportunity to cheat and win the competition. Though much more tempting than selling drugs, Omar ultimately decides to embrace his integrity. The beauty of this scene is that, unbeknownst to Omar, one of the older, distrusting boys is watching this entire temptation play out. Omar’s consistent actions end up winning the boy over. Interestingly enough, we learn that Captain Malloy is the one that lacks integrity and it’s the high quality of Omar’s character that changes him as well.
That’s when it hit me. The greatest opposition that Omar faces in this film is not his struggle to save the orphanage but rather the manner in which he tries to save it. This is a valuable lesson for me as a father. I want to provide for my children and keep them safe. But at what cost?
It’s hard for me not to recall the temptations that Jesus faced in the wilderness. During his forty-day fast, Satan appeals to his hunger tempting him to turn stone to bread. Satan also tempts Jesus to prove his deity by jumping off of the temple and commanding his angels to rescue him. But the third temptation is the darkest of them all.
Satan shows him the kingdoms of the world and says, “All these things I will give You, if You fall down and worship me.” It’s a bold ask but how exactly is that a temptation? Jesus came to the world to redeem all of creation. Satan promises to surrender his control if Jesus worships him. There are two problems with this. Firstly, Satan is under the delusion that the world his to surrender. Satan is the virus, not the host. Secondly, as tempting as it would be to bypass the unimaginable holistic turmoil that awaited him on the cross, the Lordship and Kingdom of Christ is not salvific without the atonement for sins. The kingdom of Satan isn’t preventing Christ’s lordship in others, it’s the sin of man. If Jesus were to succumb to these temptations, especially the last one, he loses all credibility as the spotlesss lamb. His integrity (and in his case, his very nature) were at stake in those temptations. It’s easy for us to forget how our integrity impact others.
External threats to my character are relentless and for all intents and purposes, endless. But I want to highlight one more opposition that Omar faces in this movie. Unlike the other two threats, this one is internal. For Omar, it’s his past.
Omar grew up on the streets. He grew up fatherless. He was haunted by his past. Perhaps it was the fear of inadequacy that struck him. Maybe he feared what would happen to the boys if he ever failed to provide for them, knowing what awaited them in the streets. This fear gripped him when he saw no hope to keep the orphanage open. That same fear tempted him to compromise. This fear was relatable for not only those watching the film, but those involved.
In an interview on Mixed Take, a podcast I host with Doni Alicea, Jimmy Gonzales tearfully articulated the parallels between Omar’s experiences and his own. His father was in and out of prison due to addictions and his mother was disabled. He said,“My mother… she just didn’t know what to do…and had no resources… so she did the best thing that she thought she could… she put me in foster care at 11 to get me off the streets.”
It’s no wonder that Jimmy bonded with the boys on set. Like Omar, Jimmy says, “I don’t have children myself…” but he graciously goes on. “I’ve worked with children before but I’ve never worked with them as extensively as I did with these guys - they taught me more than I could ever teach them.” As a father, I love those empowering words. He points out that, “They were so open and so giving and so creative and smart. Man, they were awesome.”
I can only guess that those boys loved working with Jimmy. Here is a veteran journeyman actor that finally gets the lead role and uses that platform to highlight the value of the young actors in the movie. That is great stuff. It’s also a reminder that fatherhood is so much more than laying down rules and boundaries and keeping small child alive. It’s more than bombarding them with hugs and kisses. It’s about valuing them and empowering them and humbly learning from them. I never want my children to mistake me for one of their buddies but I hope that as they grow into adulthood that they can call me friend.
Listen to the entire Mixed Take interview with Jimmy Gonzalez on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. You can also visit the Mixed Take page on the World Outspoken website.
Special thanks to Dawnchelle Carlton and Alyshia Kelly of Grace Hill Media & Eden for setting up the interview
Blue Miracle is available on Netflix. Watch it today!
To learn more information about Casa Hogar Cabo please visit CasaHogarCabo.com.
http://netflix.com/BlueMiracle
